Yesterday, I came home from work early and had a bit of time to play with my kids.

My eldest (10) and her brother (8) were playing a yo-yo.

My daughter already got the hang of it, while my boy couldn't seem to make the yo-yo go up in a snap.

As I watched them play, I saw my boy getting more and more frustrated with each failed attempt.

Finally, he turned to me with his face all tearful and anguished with disappointment.

I gestured for him to come over. As I was hugging him, he said to me in a whisper, "Papa, why can't I do it well?"

"You're doing it better than yesterday," I replied.

"But why can't I do it like my sister?"

"It's a matter of practice. You're just new to playing yo-yo that's all. Your sister might be doing it better than you, but you can always practice and be better at it. If you think your sister is doing it better, don't be frustrated with yourself. Instead, watch how she's doing it and improve how you throw and grab based on your observation. I know, not being able to do it properly is frustrating, but it's not a good idea to feel bad about yourself when you see people doing better than you. All people, me, you, your sister, and everyone else, have strong points and weak points. It just so happens that maybe playing yo-yo is not your strong point right now. Not to worry, because these things can be learned. It all comes down to practice. If you practice every day for the whole week, I promise you, you'll be good at it. Practice for a month and you'll be great. Practice for a year? Why, you'll be a yo-yo bakemono!" (Japanese for monster)

That's when I finally saw a smile on my son's face. I know by then he understood, and he'd be alright.

Now, to give context to this story, our daughter is physically more nimble than her brother. She loves to run, hang onto poles, and is more physically active. Our son, on the other hand, is more of a thinker who loves reading books and exploring stuff just like his papa.

But you know how it feels, don't you?

On social network sites, you get bombarded all the time with photos of all these seemingly happy people, partying, all rich and successful, and all having the time of their lives.

You aren't aware of it, but subconsciously you automatically compare yourself with those people. And after seeing a bunch of these SNS flexing, you can't help but feel bad about yourself.

But these are all BS.

It's all made up and unreal. You don't really know what's happening in the background.

All people, no matter how successful they are, have their own problems. And maybe their problems are much worse and much more problematic than yours (who knows, but that's not the point).

So when you see people flexing on the internet, be mindful of your thoughts.

Tell yourself that you're not seeing the whole picture here. And even if you do, you simply can't compare yourself with other people. Why? Because you have different values, different goals in life, different tendencies, different strong points and weak points, different timing, and different journeys. Comparing yourself with other people simply doesn't make sense.

It's called a fallacy of false equivalence. You can't compare oranges and apples and ask which one is better on account that they're both fruits. They're too different that there's no point to compare at all. The only similarity is that both are sweet and unique in their own ways.

Just like you are unique and special in your own way, too.

So do your thing in your own way, and be happy with yourself just the way you are.

That doesn't mean you stay stuck.

You can change, improve, and grow, of course, but you change, improve, and grow in your own way.

Never mind what other people are doing and there's no need to compare.

Your journey is as unique and special as anyone else ― remember that.

Your man,

Denver "ikigai bakemono" Mishima

P.S. To be more mindful and aware of your thoughts, I couldn't recommend journaling strongly enough. If you want to start a journaling habit check out our Ikigai Notes Journal/Life Planner (I designed it myself). It's got a nice section where you get to set and write your values, vision, principles, and your life goals. That way you'd be able to effectively fend off those pesky SNS flexing and other shiny object distractions that come your way.

P.P.S. I'll take my family on a short trip to Fukui Prefecture this Friday and Saturday. I'll send the next newsletter on Sunday.